Grammar Post 7

Semicolon use: In my research paper, I was often prompted by Word to use a semi-colon, or get rid of one. I thought it would make a good blog. I found the information at: http://www.drgrammar.org/faqs/#14.

"A semicolon creates a brief reading pause that can dramatically highlight a close relationship or a contrast. The semicolon alone can't specify the relationship the way words like because or however can. Be sure, therefore, that the relationship you are signaling won't be puzzling to readers."

"Join two sentences with a semicolon. A semicolon joins main clauses that can stand alone as complete sentences.
[Example:] The demand for paper is at an all-time high; businesses alone consume millions of tons each year."

"Use a semicolon with words such as however and on the other hand. When you use a semicolon alone to link main clauses, you ask readers to recognize the logical link between the clauses. When you add words like however or on the other hand, you create a different effect on readers by specifying how the clauses relate.
[Example:] I like apples; however, I hate pears."

"Use a semicolon with a complex series. When items in a series contain commas, readers may have trouble deciding which commas separate parts of the series and which belong within items. To avoid confusion, put semicolons between elements in a series when one or more contain other punctuation.
[Example:] I interviewed Debbie Rios, the attorney; Rhonda Marron, the accountant; and the financial director." (Anson, Schwegler, and Muth, The Longman Writer's Companion 432-433)

Grammar Post 6

Writing an "Argumentative" research paper. My research paper is argumentative, so I researched what that meant on the internet. I found a great resource at http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/658/02.

Argumentative research paper:

The argumentative research paper consists of an introduction in which the writer clearly introduces the topic and informs his audience exactly which stance he intends to take; this stance is often identified as the thesis statement. An important goal of the argumentative research paper is persuasion, which means the topic chosen should be debatable or controversial. For example, it would be difficult for a student to successfully argue in favor of the following stance.

Cigarette smoking poses medical dangers and may lead to cancer for both the smoker and those who experience secondhand smoke.

Perhaps 25 years ago this topic would have been debatable; however, today, it is assumed that smoking cigarettes is, indeed, harmful to one's health. A better thesis would be the following.

Although it has been proven that cigarette smoking may lead to sundry health problems in the smoker, the social acceptance of smoking in public places demonstrates that many still do not consider secondhand smoke as dangerous to one's health as firsthand smoke.

In this sentence, the writer is not challenging the current accepted stance that both firsthand and secondhand cigarette smoke is dangerous; rather, she is positing that the social acceptance of the latter over the former is indicative of a cultural double-standard of sorts. The student would support this thesis throughout her paper by means of both primary and secondary sources, with the intent to persuade her audience that her particular interpretation of the situation is viable.

America the Beautiful

It's about time. It is so refreshing to read an essay that is filled with what is good about America instead of constantly hearing berating comments about it. Dinesh D'Souza, author of "America the Beautiful, What We're Fighting For," writes an essay about what makes America great, and why America will win the war against terrorism and fundamentalist Islam.
D'Souza suggests that America need not apologize for the actions it takes around the world to bring about goodness. This piece was written prior to the election of our current President, but seems to be speaking directly to him. Obama has made it a major priority of his first few months in office to race around the world and tell everyone that America is sorry for what she has done. When what she has done has made the world a better place, has brought freedom to millions, has been the template of freedom, and self-oriented lives. D'Souza writes of the virtue that can only be attained when a choice is given. He suggests, that if virtue is forced, it is not virtue at all.
D'Souza brings a very strong pro-America opinion into this piece. He does not apologize for America being the best nation to ever live on the face of the earth. Is this arrogant? Maybe. But, the world needs America, and the world needs America to believe in who she is and what she stands for. D'Souza gives his readers hope that America is still the country she was born to be, and the world is not justified when it spews hatred towards us, and left-winged liberals are not justified in doing the same from the inside. It's too bad we can't get our President to understand this.

Grammar Post 5

I decided to do as Chelsi asked, and I researched "to be" verbs. This was the best information I found. It was found at: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/to_be.htm#unnecessary

Unnecessary Uses of “To Be”:

Even a casual review of your writing can reveal uses of the verb “To be” that are unnecessary and that can be removed to good effect. In a way, the “To be” verb doesn't do much for you — it just sits there — and text that is too heavily sprinkled with “To be” verbs can feel sodden, static. This is especially true of “To be” verbs tucked into dependent clauses (particularly dependent clauses using a passive construction) and expletive constructions (“There is,” “There were,” “it is,” etc.). Note that the relative pronoun frequently disappears as well when we revise these sentences.

He wanted a medication that was prescribed by a physician.
She recognized the officer who was chasing the crook.
Anyone who is willing to work hard will succeed in this program.
It was Alberto who told the principal about the students' prank. (Notice that the “it was” brought special emphasis to “Alberto,” an emphasis that is somewhat lost by this change.)
A customer who is pleased is sure to return. A pleased customer is sure to return. (When we eliminate the “To be” and the relative pronoun, we will also have to reposition the predicate adjective to a pre-noun position.)

An expletive construction, along with its attendant “To be” verb, can often be eliminated to good effect. Simply omit the construction, find the real subject of the sentence, and allow it to do some real work with a real verb.

There were some excellent results to this experiment in social work. (Change to . . . .) This experiment in social work resulted in . . . .
There is one explanation for this story's ending in Faulkner's diary. (Change to . . . .) Faulkner's diary gives us one explanation for this story's ending.
On the other hand, expletive constructions do give us an interesting means of setting out or organizing the work of a subsequent paragraph:
There were four underlying causes of World War I. First, . . . .

I'm Black; You're White

In an effort to deliniate some of the major differences between blacks and whites, "I'm Black, You're White, Who's Innocent" by Shelby Steel, uses annoying rhetoric which often feels like a jumbled mass of words. Steel seems to bounce all over the map in this essay, leaving his reader to wonder what he is trying to say. Also, the piece feels like a long-winded opinion that is based solely on one persons life experience. This creates a formula for becoming a less-than-effective essay, and falls short of fulfilling its duty to an intriguing subject.
In Steel's much study and attention to the subject of race, he has given terms, or names, trying to describe what is happening between blacks and whites. The problem is the pure mass of them stuffed into a short essay. Terms like: bargainer, challenger, seeing for innocence, just a name a few, would be more effective as chapters of a book with more room to clarify. They feel forced into a tight space here, created a hard-to-follow rhetoric.
Steel begins a number of his paragraphs with words like: I think, I believe, and I feel. This limits the evidences and ideas that are presented in this essay, by making it all have the feel of an opinion. Steel presents good points throughout the piece, but handicaps those points by attaching them so clearly to opinion. This essay, because of it's topic, has an interesting appeal. However, it doesn't take long for the reader to become disengaged because of cluttered and unclear rhetoric, based too much upon opinion.

Breather Rough Draft

"Behind Enemy Lines" is a classic example of media's glorified portrayal of actual military events. A navy fighter pilot is shot down in war-torn Bosnia right as NATO forces were beginning to withdraw. A classic struggle is born between Lieutenant Reigart of the U.S. Navy and commander of the U.S.S. Carl Vinson, and General Pacquet, the Special Relations Officer assigned by NATO to oversee activity in that region. In an attempt to create national pride toward an American-geared audience, the film effectively uses this head-to-head power struggle. As the action in the film heats up, this symbolic battle of America versus the rest of the world powerfully plays out, in the background, in the form of two strong figures.
Lieutenant Leslie Reigart is played by famous American actor Gene Hackman. Hackman's character is built early on in the first few scenes of the movie. Reigart calls in Navy Pilot Burnett, the star of the film played by Owen Wilson, to discuss Burnett's resignation letter. In this scene Reigart comes across as a hard-nosed, no-nonsense lieutenant. He sternly accuses Burnett of not having any idea what it means to sacrifice for your country. This short discussion helps the viewer to see Reigart as experienced, someone who has dedicated his life to serving his country. This is further expressed when the camera scans the wall of his office, examining pictures of a younger fighter pilot and numerous military awards including the Purple Heart, awarded for courage in battle. The building of Reigart's character is crucial to this film, as he will later become a symbol of American resolve.
When Burnett and his co-pilot are shot down, we are introduced to Reigart's antagonist, NATO official Pacquet. Pacquet is played by a short, dark actor who speaks english with a heavy accent. Pacquet comes across as cocky and arrogant. In the first scent he appears, he quickly lays a heavy hand over the top of Reigart's power and control. He is established as someone that the American audience can aim their anger and disgust.
The battle between Reigart and Pacquet pursues. The struggle is epic. Power against power, America against the world. Early on Pacquet seems to have the upper hand, as Reigart feels forced to bow to the control of NATO and Pacquet. As the navy red-tape becomes more and more evident because of NATO's intervention, the viewer becomes more and more perturbed, destined to feel more pride for America and more animosity toward NATO, almost wanting to scream, "We are America, nobody tells us what to do!" In one scent Pacquet splits the divide further when he exclaims, "You Americans, all you care about is your own damn pilots."
As the struggle progresses, Reigart becomes more defiant to the control of Pacquet. Just as America doesn't take a back seat to anyone, in the end, Reigart completely disregards orders from NATO, and does the right thing. He bravely, with no regard for his safety or his career, takes command the leads his forces to save his pilot.

Grammar Post 4

The writing lab told me I was using semicolons where colons should be, so I thought I should research it. I found the information from http://www.drgrammar.org/faqs/#48.

Semicolon use?
"A semicolon creates a brief reading pause that can dramatically highlight a close relationship or a contrast. The semicolon alone can't specify the relationship the way words like because or however can. Be sure, therefore, that the relationship you are signaling won't be puzzling to readers."

"Join two sentences with a semicolon. A semicolon joins main clauses that can stand alone as complete sentences.
[Example:] The demand for paper is at an all-time high; businesses alone consume millions of tons each year."

"Use a semicolon with words such as however and on the other hand. When you use a semicolon alone to link main clauses, you ask readers to recognize the logical link between the clauses. When you add words like however or on the other hand, you create a different effect on readers by specifying how the clauses relate.
[Example:] I like apples; however, I hate pears."

"Use a semicolon with a complex series. When items in a series contain commas, readers may have trouble deciding which commas separate parts of the series and which belong within items. To avoid confusion, put semicolons between elements in a series when one or more contain other punctuation.
[Example:] I interviewed Debbie Rios, the attorney; Rhonda Marron, the accountant; and the financial director." (Anson, Schwegler, and Muth, The Longman Writer's Companion 432-433)

"Two Ways"

"Two Ways a Woman Can Get Hurt" is a disturbing essay that details just how low our society has been dragged down through irresponsible and ugly advertising. Author Jean Kilbourne, piles on the evidence of this low-class, do anything for money, advertising that has now become common-place in our society. Drawing parallels with today's advertising and pornography, Kilbourne is effective in driving home her point and shining a light on the dangers of this disrespectful and harmful type of media.
Throughout the essay pictures that correlate with her message are displayed. These images are very graphic. They play an important role in helping the reader to see exactly what Kilbourne is writing about. She describes the ad that each picture portrays. This is effective in helping the reader to relate to images they have themselves experienced in advertising. The most powerful part of the essay is the sheer mass of ad's that she lays out before the reader. Her purpose in being to help the reader see how much of this is out there. She then leads her audience into the affects of this advertising. She describes some of the gross problems that are occuring throughout schools, in almost every age group, throughout our country.
This essay is shocking. And shocking is good when you are trying to raise a point and bring awareness to an issue. It is a technique that can be overplayed, but Kilbourne uses a good mix of personal feelings, stories, images,and statistics to cultivate this shock-value.

Killer Culture

David Kupelian, in his essay "Killer Culture" does an incredible job of diving into the youth cultural movements of today. He disects them, puts his own spin on them, and ultimately evokes a wide range of emotion from his reader. His ability to make the reader completely engulfed in every word makes this piece very captivating and interesting, however; with his heavy use of cited sources, it makes the reader wonder if it his piece or just a compilation of other works.
Kupelian does a masterful job of describing and detailing some of the crazy things that are happening with the youthful culture in America. He uses language that is so vivid, lacking no detail, bringing the images he is trying to portray, to life. By using language that is not often found in academic writing he helps bring a certain attention to his words that is found more often in liesurely reading.
However, when reading "Killing Culture", it is hard to ignore the often long and frequent quotes. These quotes effectively back his argument, but the pure number and mass of them lead the reader to question whose words they are really reading. In the end, Kupelian infuses a lot of opinion which helps to give ownership back to himself, but through the heart of the essay, where it matters most, he loses some of that ownership.

Framing Class

In "Framing Class, Vicarious Living, and Conspicuous Consumption", author Diana Kendall writes about the power of the media, and its ability to "shape and create cultural perceptions." She discusses how media audiences perceive and ultimately "act upon popular cultural images or frames". Throughout the piece she breaks down and analyzes how each different class is portrayed in the media, giving various examples, and why they are portrayed that way. She talks about how this portrayal has influenced our country for the worst, and how dangerous this will become as more middle-class and working-class families lifestyles continue to deteriorate.
In the end, she places most of the blame on the fact that media has become basically a small piece in huge conglomerate companies, who only care about the bottom line. She states, "The profits of television networks and stations come from selling advertising, not from producing programs that are accurate reflections of social life." And, because the owners and executives of these large corporations are a part of the upper-class, they have no desire to change the status-quo.
In the best part of the piece, Kendall pleads with her readers to not let media be their one and only source of information in their lives, "For the sake of our children and grandchildren, we must balance the perspectives we gain from the media with our own lived experiences and use a wider sociological lens to look at what is going on around us in everyday life." Well said. Media cannot and should not play a large role in how we perceive the world around us. We need to get off the couch, get outside, and define our own lives, and stop letting media define it for us.

Grammar Post 3

As I been writing my papers and responses, I have noticed that I use quotation marks quite often. I figured I better learn how to correctly punctuate them. I found this information from http://www.drgrammar.org/faqs/#15.


Quotation Marks and Other PunctuationThere are three basic rules.

1. All commas and periods should be placed inside the quotation marks.
2. All colons and semicolons should be placed outside the quotation marks.
3. Question marks and exclamation marks should be placed within the quotation marks when they apply only to the quoted material; they should be placed outside when the entire sentence, including the quoted material, is a question or exclamation.

Serving in Florida

In Barbara Ehrenreich's "Serving In Florida", she takes us through a "scientific experiment" to learn a little more about living a working-class life. She first takes on one job as a waitress, then adds another so she can pay her bills. She begins to find herself entrenched in the lifestyle and even the attitude of the working-class person.
Ehrenreich's experience is very telling, and very entertaining. She could have learned of working-class life through study and reading. She could have communicated the differences from her "real" life to her working-class life through statistics and numbers. However, by living to tell the tale, she adds a genuine touch to her story that could only be gained from actually living the life of the working-class.
By the end of the piece the reader is surely convinced that if you have options that will lead you away from the working-class world, take them. She paints a very depressing reality of what it takes to make ends meet, if you are part of this working-class. She is convincing and entertaining, and does a great job of getting her point across.

I Just Wanna Be Average and Against School

Our education system is far from perfect. There are plenty of educational failures that can be blamed for personal and societal failures. But, there are also many people who have a teacher in high school, or college, or a course they took that ultimately changed their lives for the better. In the "Learning Power" section of Rereading America we have been able the contrast very different writings that have detailed some of the struggles and successes of our schools.
Upon first comparison, it would be easy to see the similarities between Michael Moore's "Idiot Nation" and John Taylor Gatto's "Against School". However, Gatto is a much more believable and credible source, and makes his argument in a much more constructive manner. He describes how our school system was doomed from the start, because of it's origins to "military state of Prussia". Gatto was a life long educator, and his critique seems to come from a true desire to fix the system, rather than in Moore's case, a miserable failure who wants company. Mike Rose's "I Just Wanna Be Average" goes another step in the positive direction by showing that even in a broken system it just takes one good teacher and a small amount of student initiative to allow somebody to break through and achieve.
In education, as in most situation in life, we will reap what we sew. Education is not, and never will be perfect. We have the responsibility to get from it what we need. These writings are good examples of people that believe their happiness or their success is another's responsibility. And, on the flip side, in Rose's case we read of somebody taking the initiative to create their own destiny.

Grammar Post 2

I used my last grammar post to help my reading response for "Idiot Nation".

This post is about the use of commas and periods inside quotation marks, another question I seem to come across in my writing. I found this at http://www.drgrammar.org/faqs/#88.

Commas and Periods Inside Quotation Marks? "Place periods and commas inside quotation marks.[Example:] "This is a stick-up," said the well-dressed young couple. "We want all your money."This rule applies to single quotation marks as well as double quotation marks. It also applies to all uses of quotation marks: for quoted material, for titles of works, and for words used as words.Exception: In the Modern Language Association's style of parenthetical in-text citations . . ., the period follows the citation in parentheses.[Example:] James M. McPherson comments, approvingly, that the Whigs were not averse to extending the blessings of American liberty, even to Mexicans and Indians" (48). (Hacker, A Writer's Reference 285)

Idiot Nation

In "Idiot Nation" the author, Michael Moore, gives us his opinions on the failings of our education system. In his usual degrading and negative way, Moore writes this piece as a way to get back at the educational system, that failed to make him into a positively contributing human being. If you were to write a research paper on "What is Hypocricy?", this piece could be your main resource.
"Idiot Nation" is filled with one hypocritical statement after another, as Moore tries to convince america that we are not educated well enough, yet, he himself did not even graduate from college. He berates President George W. Bush for being a "C" student at Yale and Harvard, yet, he couldn't graduate from his local city college. And, in what was the most blatantly hypocritical moment, he writes that society's attitude toward teachers should be one of great gratitude (which it should be). Then, turns around and gives instructions on, "How to Be a Student Subversive Instead of a Student Subservient". Yes, this is how to show our teachers how greatful we are to them.
Moore has some valid points in his piece, and points that I agree with. However, he loses his credibility and the piece loses it's appeal because of the obvious hypocracy. I think this piece shows that we can really be exposed, and our character revealed when we let complete bias override an honest pursuit of truth.

Grammar 1

During my response to "What We Really Miss..." there were a couple of times that I considered starting a sentence with "And". I realized I wasn't sure of the rule, so this is my first grammar post. I found it at http://www.drgrammar.org/faqs/#115.

And or But to begin a sentence? "Everybody agrees that it's all right to begin a sentence with and, and nearly everybody admits to having been taught at some past time that the practice was wrong" (Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of English Usage). In addition, "many of us were taught that no sentence should begin with 'but. ' If that's what you learned, unlearn it — there is no stronger word at the start. It announces total contrast with what has gone before, and the reader is primed for the change" (William Zinsser qtd. in Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of English Usage). Using and or but at the beginning of a sentence makes the tone of the writing more informal — like a conversation. Care needs to be taken to ensure a sentence beginning with and or but doesn't become a sentence fragment (Fogarty, Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing 80).

What We Really Miss....

In "What We Really Miss About the 1950s", the author, Stephanie Coontz, gives a compelling but definitely prejudiced, comparison of the 1950s to other decades in this century. She begins by stating a study that showed that the 1950s received more votes (38%) as the best decade for a child to grow up than any other single decade. She gives us a timeline that might help to explain what was going on in the 50s and why.
I want to focus on my perception of Coontz' negativity toward the 50's. She starts positive in her analysis of the study, stating, ".... a time when there were fewer complicated choices for kids or parents to grapple with, when there was more predictability in how people formed and maintained families....." Then, in a way of telling us that she was going to start pushing her bias, she states, "Nostalgia for the 1950s is real and deserves to be taken seriously, but it usually shouldn't be taken literally."
Although Coontz gives some strong reasoning and facts that show the greatness of the 50s decade, she seems to taint these points with her own bias against the decade. For instance, she talks about the strength of the family unit in the 50's, then gives one of her explanations for this as, "....having the wrong friends.... or belonging to any 'suspicious' organizations could ruin your career and reputation, it was safer to pull out of groups..... and focus on your family." This piece is laced with a very strong undertone that shows Coontz' distaste for the "perceived" happiness of the 50s. She doesn't hide this opinion when she states, "We now know that the 1950s family culture was not only nontraditional; it was also not idyllic."
Her negativity about the 1950s is not without it's facts, but you could easily sense which way Coontz swayed in the her feelings about the "ideal" families of that era. The title "What We Really Miss About the 1950's" must have been given with a "hint, hint, nod, nod", for she didn't seem to think there was very much good that came from that decade. She shows how easy it can be, through writing, to twist information any way you want it to go. She was able to use positive data for the 1950's and shine a negative light upon it.

About Me

My name is Kyle West, and I am a reluctant, returning student. I graduated from college in 2001, with no intention to return, but here I am. I have worked in the finance world for the past six plus years, but economic circumstances have pushed me in a new direction. This new direction begins with school, a lot of school. I have been married to an amazing woman for seven years, and have two beautiful daughters. I do this for them.